The one when it was all over

Oh my. I don't know where to begin.

People have asked me lots how I'm feeling. Pleased? Elated? Relieved?

No. None of those really. The closest I can come is sanguine. I've lived with this for what seems like an age now, so I didn't feel too much at all. Today, come 4pm, I did think "oh, it's nice that I'm not in hospital", but it's just felt like another day (albeit a day I'm off work)

My mask - now at home

I feel tired and my dysphagia (difficulty swallowing) continues, which might be another reason why this is still feels like it's an ongoing concern. I woke up at 11 today (surprisingly not in too much pain) and pottered around. Eating is the main problem currently; my tongue feels a bit swollen and has some nasty irritated/sore bits adorning it at the edges, right where the teeth normally are just out of contact with it at the back. Eating is thusly an exercise in how much niggly pain I can tolerate before I give up: I managed a whole bowl of porridge, but couldn't eat my dinner and instead had to supplement with a tin of fruit and custard. Gourmet dining it was not.

Once my palate returns and my food is enjoyable again (it's actually so sad not enjoying eating, despite the positive affect on my figure post chemo weight gain... damn chocolate bars) I think I'll truly feel like something has happened, and life will become something I can enjoy a bit again. Maybe I'll feel like I can write something profound (the crowning glory that this blog deserves?) at some point soon. 

But, for now, all I'm going to do is rest up and will my digestive tract to sort it's life out. Just as I've been waiting for my body to do the same. I'm off until Monday, so hopefully there'll be a tangible improvement day-by-day. After all, today and tomorrow are simply like having another weekend off - it'll only be on Friday when it will have been 3 days since a rads sesh that maybe things will ameliorate.

Write soon - once I'm feeling a bit better.

T