Working swollen

Went to a meeting this morning and have been working this afternoon, so I feel okay as long as I keep on track.

I've been talking to a few people online via the macmillan forum (which is a group for people with my condition and, indeed, all cancers in the UK) and it's assuaged me somewhat. However, they're right that you really shouldn't be alone too much, I've been working from home this afternoon (thought it was a good idea to go and work from home post biopsy) and it's definitely a struggle to keep your mind on track when you're feeling worried.


It's a complex maelstrom of emotions, and you think many things which often cancel each other out. For example: I know it's serious, but it's treatable. I know it's scary, but it's curable. I don't know what stage I'm at, but I know the prognosis is excellent at any stage. And it's paralysing because it feels like everything should be okay, but there's a nagging uncertainty because I don't yet know the full facts.

I'm trying so hard not to touch my neck (I've obviously left alone where I was operated on), because whenever I do I keep feeling little lymphs dotted around. It's so scary and alien, and I can't wait until they've gone. I really, really can't wait to beat this.